Conversations With My Past
What I feel deep inside is so big; I have to create big. No 16 x 20’s – I want to create pieces that represent just how consuming these emotions can be. No more inches…I want feet. I want the viewer to be overwhelmed, much like I am. Size does matter in this case.
Maturity wants to calmly stand over you. Anxiety wants to be noticed and comforted. Joy wants to dance on the wall. Fear needs to be acknowledged, and seen in the light, so it can dissipate. Compassion wants to warm the room, hand you a cup of tea and listen to your story. These are not small emotions – and I can no longer allow them to seep out, like a slow leak. I want to open the floodgates and finally lance that bubbling, blistering wound and allow all to come out. Strong, bold and big, with a hint of love, and light, without puke a rainbow.
I see 12 pieces right now…12 different scenes that express the skeletons in the closet, not only being confronted, but being understood. Understanding is a huge component of love. Whether that love is for another or yourself. A longing to understand why is an act of love. I love myself, therefore I cannot simply confront those skeletons, and I must have a dialogue. There must be a common ground and agreements must be made for me to move on. It’s time.
Wonderful ambition tonight. A serge of energy, inspiration, and motivation has knocked on the door, asking me to follow the path of my heart. I’ve put it off, or maybe I haven’t been ready until now? Either way, it’s time.
I won’t try to figure out the logistics or the intimate details this evening of how I will pull this off. Right now I will simply allow the motivation to fuel me…